After White
by Karosai
Summary: OGi/Shounen-ai/Dark o.O;:Nagi killed basically everyone Omi knew because he went slightly insane, as for Omi...he's pretty much locked himself away. Oh, right, Nagi wants Omi back... Fear the lunatics *can't blurb* ((chap 8 up~ can't sleep at night o.O;))
1. Nagi Ramble

shiroi no ato de  
After White  
  
Dedicated to: To-chan and Bombay-chan XD  
  
...It has been awhile, Bombay...  
  
...Since that last time...  
  
...It doesn't matter now...  
  
...All the restraints, yours and mine are dead...  
  
...All of them...  
  
...Are you afraid now?  
  
I killed all of them, just for you, always you, only you. I used my power up to the point where I grasped onto that last string of life. For you see, if I died, I would have no one. I'd be alone... However, if I continued to live I could find you and return the one like me into my possession. You don't believe you ever belonged to me, do you? We'll fix that. I'll make you someone new. I'll keep you until you die.  
  
For you see, Bombay, you and I are the only ones left. Schuldig, Crawford, Farfello...Siberian, Abyssinian, Balinese...all are dead... You won't know they died by my hands... You won't know that the blood dripped from them for hours as the rocks from the earth blew it upwards. The moon seemed red that day...or was it blew? Such irrelevant things used to stick out in my mind the most because all of that which seemed the most important no longer held value to me. But now, however, but now...now it's all changed. Neither of us are who we used to be.  
  
Or...at least...I am not. I haven't seen you for years. I know not whether you are still happy or if the weight of the world has come crashing down. I don't care. We're free... I'm free... I will put you back where you belong soon. I care for you, as best as I can. I fear for you, the best that I can.  
  
Not at all. I couldn't care for you at all. I couldn't fear for you at all. That is not who I am...at least not anymore. It isn't who you are either, is it? You've blocked everyone out. You've kept to yourself... You'll never notice that they're dead. Poor boy, not a clue in the world... It'll all be all right soon. Just give me some time...and I'll show you... I am all you'll ever need.  
  
I am all you'll be allowed to need. 


	2. Omi Ramble

...I'm alone...  
  
...I made it that way...  
  
...Hid myself away from the world...  
  
...I can't get back in...  
  
...Why can't I get back in...  
  
...I'm abandoned...  
  
Time doesn't seem to flow anymore. I haven't seen them in years... Weiss... When was it that we last met? When we last fought? It doesn't matter now, does it? Those haunting memories and darkness consuming my soul, locking me away... I want freedom.  
  
I've isolated myself from the world, living off the money I had accumulated over time. There's only me...and the computer.... It connects me to the outside world. Only it knows where I live. No one can find me; I'm invisible like this.   
  
There's someone here...? I'm not alone...?  
  
"Who...are you?" I asked, opening my door.  
  
"You don't remember me?" calm lips asked from the midnight-eyed owner. "Then all is well. I must say, before I never caught your name. What might it be?"  
  
"I am Tsukiyono Omi... How did you find this place?" I questioned in turn.  
  
No answer slipped from the boy's lips but instead lips pressed up against mine. I felt as my wrists pressed up above my head and his hand slip up my shirt. His lips were warm...  
  
Those lips... "You are...?"  
  
"My name is not important for you."  
  
  
Notes: klyukaizer, thank you very much for reviewing! ^^ 


	3. Nagi Rambles and I Ramble oO

Was it worth it? Stupid words, really, but still they echo through my mind... Was it worth it to kill so many to merely wrap my arms around that slim body? Was it worth it all just for the chance and the actual seduction of what once I believed was the embodiment of innocence? He really was beautiful when he was looking completely horrified as he moaned and blushed while telling me to stop.  
  
He didn't remember me. There wasn't a single lie that I couldn't place into his mind. It'd be nice...confusing him, manipulating him until he saw only me. Only me...heh, what typical words of a lunatic. I'm not insane, not quite yet. I still have the sense to function, but I know it's coming. It won't take long before I am unreachable by mankind and will be put where Farfello belonged long ago.  
  
"W-Who are you...?" he begged quietly as I held his nude, shivering body in my arms, refusing to let him be.  
  
"Don't be afraid of me, Omi, I didn't hurt you, did I?" I whispered softly into his ear, fingering along his slim throat.  
  
"No...but...I need a name..." he murmured, leaning back against me.  
  
"Shoukou. If you must call me something, let it be that. Don't use it frequently."  
  
"Yes..."  
  
I kissed him lightly without lust, passion, or whatever the word is that one prefers to use when referring to such a thing. It was...oddly innocent for someone such as myself. No, it wasn't without lust. I wanted him, more of him, all of him. If I could consume Omi I would... If I could possess Omi, I would. Such things...are they truly so impossible? No bondage in this world will truly make him mine.  
  
Obsession...is that a sign of insanity? Obsession...a passion...lust...they're all the same. So many words exist for the same feeling. Love, hate, they're the same too. Love is an obsession just as hate is. So, the truth is that those that are considered innocent feel neither.  
  
I'll remove Omi's innocence and return him to a place of complete sin. Wasn't it that innocence I desired...? Or perhaps it was simply the desire to ruin it. Yes, I want to ruin that which is purer than I and learn to possess it.  
  
"I love you, Omi..."  
  
I'm not lying. It's just the same as being obsessed with you but aren't you more fond of the gentleness of the word love? I love you, only you, always you, eternally. ...Forever.  
  
Notes: The entire time I was writing this I was listening to "Are You Breathing?" by Disturbed on repeat...which as one may imagine is not so easy to do with the amount of noise in that song ^^;;;; I eventually just...sort of spaced off while listening to it and started writing this ^.^ Sorry I took so long to post again ÂÂ;;;; Christmas made me very busy and today, for the most part, I was trying to help my mom clean stuff up...and we're still not done! O.o Disturbing, isn't it? Now! Onto something which actually matters! ((what...me...write something important? O.O;;;; ))  
  
Sammy-chan! Yes! Nagi is scary o.O;;; He also has bad substitute names ÂÂ;;; Weird, child...  
  
Koneko Bombay! Yes, you're right too...it is weird @.@ Wait...you used the word original? ^^;;; Aww, yes, well, I usually write Fui's plots...so...this is just where any creative energy I have slips out...excluding doodling... I love Fui's plots XD They're so much better...and er...developed ^^;;; heh heh...  
  
Bombay-chan! It's because of you and To-chan I'm actually writing a fic o.O;;; so yes, sorry it's so weird @.@  
  
Oh dear...this part's getting longer than the fic ÂÂ;;;; 


	4. Omi Rambles and I ramble I'm so bad at...

I don't trust anyone... I recall now why I locked myself out from the world. I like being alone... Solitude is like a blanket that surrounds the cold human heart, giving it heat and melting the ice of perception. I don't enjoy the feeling of it now... I don't remember perception... I must be blind.  
  
Blind...yes, for I cannot see whom this being before me is. I fear him like I have feared no other... More than death do I watch him, suspect him, cower from him. He appears as one would assume the body of death would appear, I do suppose... His eyes...so dark and vacant...his hair dark as well. His skin is the most death like feature he possesses, being pale as the moon and untouched by the morning sun.  
  
I didn't...wish to remain in contact with him. I wanted to escape. I looked around myself fearfully after I was dressed, suspecting him all the while. Never trust, never become weak like I had been in my early days with Wei§ where I trusted them all so greatly only to find that I didn't need them. When I realized that...that was when I locked myself away.  
  
"Why would such a pretty bird hide so deeply in the forest?" Shoukou asked in an insane yet teasing tone.  
  
Pretty bird...pretty bird...where? I was alone there, was I not? There's no pretty bird... Unless, of course, I were to be a bird...but I cannot fly. I'm trapped here... I suppose I locked myself inside too...but I don't want out. I'm glad I can't fly. People that desire to escape their situations just make constant futile attempts that only depress. I'm plenty happy where I am. I can smile here...alone...without anyone to see.  
  
I'm not alone anymore... He came, that boy, Shoukou... He looks like...someone... I'm just not quite sure whom...  
  
I had this bad habit of forgetting things, loosing my memory... Amnesia that's what it was. I forgot so much...yet remembered pain. I could see the blood dripping from my clothes every night with the metallic stench in the back of my throat and elegantly surrounding my tongue. I remembered the glazed over eyes and horrified expressions of pale faces and mutilated corpses. It would never leave me...the knowledge I had taken life.  
  
Life...it seems so valuable... There's only one chance at it...if you screw up that's it. It's over. Though, I wonder, if it's over than perhaps it's not so valuable... There's only one, but that one is guaranteed to end... People's influence isn't so great if they end up dying...and all those they help die as well. So a mortal life is of no value for there is truly no task that one can complete to make it worth something...  
  
Shoukou's eyes were looking at me expectantly, waiting. Why...? An answer, I had forgotten to supply an answer to his question of the bird.  
  
"Maybe the bird is afraid? Maybe the bird didn't think its beauty is so important? I wouldn't know, Shoukou, for I am not a bird..." I supplied.  
  
His arms wrapped around my waist, and he placed his head upon my shoulder, licking my neck lightly with a smirk appearing on his face. It made me nervous when he did that... I wish he would just stop... Maybe he'd even go away if I were truly fortunate...  
  
"Yes...I must have used the wrong animal... You were a kitten, were you not?"  
  
Notes: Heh heh heh, yeah, I completely forgot this was floating around o.O;;; Between the swans, demon and angels boys, homework...yeah, I forgot. Oops? So yes! It might not have anything to do with whatever plan I had originally XD wooo! That's alright because I wrote something! Go me! Wheee~ Right... Sorry for the bad stopping place, just remembered I have some happy homework to get to! So yes! Ha...?  
  
Misty Eyes-does this count as stuff? Right...basically all that's happening is they're sitting around and thinking . Err...right! There needs to be some action! Whoa...that just so threw my mind in the gutter o.O;;  
  
Sammy-chan-awww, you noticed he was spacey? I'm touched ;_; *glomps and loves* Glad to hear it! But yes...living alone in the boonies can do that to a boy slut o.O;;  
  
Bombay-chan- I love you ;_;  
  
Yuki-glad to see he has no connection! He has my thought process at 3 AM ((that's mainly when I've written...)) so no connection for Nagi is good... Plus that whole he's insane thing o.O;; As for meek Omi... I was scanning what I wrote and he seems generally...out of it ^^;  
  
Yes! That's all XD Right...homework time . 


	5. I rabu you Bombaychan X3 nagi ramble

I admired how wide the boy's already large eyes could grow wider yet. It amazed me how beautiful he looked with an utter appearance of shock and mental torment. Did he know now who I was? Or would he continue to block my image from his memory?  
  
It has been far too long. That gentle thread where I cast my hand as I clung to the feathers of sanity was growing thin and was about to snap. Perhaps that is untrue... Had the string broke as I smeared Crawford's blood across the mirror, writing a note to Schuldig, thanking him for all he had done for me? Had it broke when I surpassed the point of Farfello's gentle mental bridge and made even him, the painless one, scream as I spoke calm words to him? The string was still attached...around my finger... Atropos of the three Moirae had yet to cut the thread of my life that would separate me from my controlled mind.  
  
"Who are you really? What's your real name?" Omi asked my desperately, tears seeping out of the corners of his eyes.  
  
I pulled him against my chest and pressed my dry lips to his salty tears, kissing them away. He closed his eyes with a blush taking place on his face and then opened them again, pushing me away from him. He looked up at me as though I had raped him, curling in on himself as he protected his body from my eyes and appearing as someone who had committed a cruelly sinful act might. Well, someone that cared that they had committed a cruelly sinful act, anyway.  
  
"I am the person that killed Nagi of Schwarz, the one that killed all of Schwarz and Weiss so he could get to you, Omi," I answered, approaching him again though he only stepped away as I did so.  
  
"Then I want nothing to do with you. Leave."  
  
He made the mistake of trusting me enough to do as he said and turning his back to me. I had never seen anyone make such a moronic mistake before... Was I not his enemy? Though, I had admitted to him I loved him...and to myself that I hated him. Perhaps he trusted one that declared love enough not to cause him harm. It was not as though I required his back to attack him... Quite the opposite, actually. I was telekinetic, after all. To attack him would require little effort.  
  
However, attacking him was not an action I wished to take. I wanted his innocence, not his corpse... I wanted his eternity, not his end.  
  
"Only I could kill him," I whispered lowly, knowing it would make someone wish to listen.  
  
Omi stopped walking but didn't turn his face to me. "Why is that?" Omi asked with his back to me and halfway through the door.  
  
"I am Nagi. No one can destroy a person in a manner such as the self can."  
  
Omi didn't move for a moment. He must have been taking that time to think of something, though about 5 seconds later he lifted his head and turned it to me, looking at me as though I were a revolting ghost.  
  
"That person is dead and Weiss is still alive! Leave!"  
  
He wouldn't accept...it was to be expected. I approached him and brushed my fingers through his hair where he remained where he was. I kissed his cheek, making him shiver. His skin was always so soft, angelic, beautiful...  
  
"Don't I look the same? My eyes are still the same color, my hair hasn't changed, so tell me how can I not be that person?" I asked him softly.  
  
"He...you..."  
  
He shook his head and watched up at me with eyes that mirrored utter despair and lost. He couldn't accept I had killed them; it made sense, I suppose. Who would, if they had any, wish to accept the death of someone close? I wouldn't understand it... The closest person I had ever had to me had been Schuldig, but that was just sex, no emotion. Though, I never really have ever had emotions... I was just in the constant blank lull of apathy.  
  
Notes: I wrote this in about 25 minutes or so... I was just procrastinating doing my english essay ^^;;; But I had so many shiny comments I couldn't help but write more *.* So yes! First of all, sorry if it's really weird because of the whole essay thing o.O;; Second...ummm...right, no second, just time to reply to comments I guess ^^;  
  
Kasra-Whee, Omi figured it out...but is denying it o.O;;; And yes, there will be more because otherwise this is a really shitty ending o.O;;;  
  
Joanna-thanks ^^;;; I just stopped there because of my little annoying friend science homework... yeah, I tend to stop in bad places because I realize procrastinating isn't such a great idea ^^;;; Oh well...  
  
ChouKourin-glad you like it! I thought it was getting boring o.O;; It's basically dialogue, angst or insanity, dialogue, lil bit of movement, angst or insanity, dialogue... Yup, pretty sad o.O;;  
  
Yuki-yay! He seems a bit more in character ^^;;; That's always good o.O;;; Fanfics are hard to write -_-;;; I like writing origi stories better, even if it does mean I have to put forth some plot thought... Characters are easier to deal with X3  
  
Bombay-chan- I don't write well o.o;;; you're too nice ^^;; I'm happy you like it! It wouldn't be very good if you didn't like your gift fic o.O;;;;; Then I'd have to go write something else until you did like it *nod nod nod* Which would take a while...but be worth it in the end! I wanna read one of your fics ;_; Wonder if people can become fluent in german in a week... Eh, doubt it -_-;;; So bothersome! Hmm, I read siegfried in german ((part of my english homework but reading it in english gets boring ^^;;;; ))! Maybe send one anyway and we'll see what happens? ^^;;; Besides! You have excellent english *.*  
  
Yes! Must go write essay! No more slacking! *marches off to write essay* Thank you all very much~ 


	6. Omi anyone noticing a pattern oO

I held my fingers against the knife I had taped to the wall beside the door that was within the room that the person was not in. I closed my eyes; I wasn't sure... But as he spoke of Nagi's eyes...I wanted to kill him. That's a downside to being taught to kill... Killing those that have done wrong starts to seem to be the right thing, and the amount of wrong required becomes blurred. How long...  
  
I ripped the knife off the wall and turned to that person in an attempt to attack him, but all that happened was that his pupils narrowed and I was pushed back against the wall. That pain....it seemed vaguely familiar... Only a telekinetic, only Nagi, had done that to me.  
  
"Who are you? I killed Nagi...!" I murmured weakly, forcing myself to my legs again. "Nagi isn't alive anymore..."  
  
"You didn't kill him," he whispered with a small smile appearing on his face. "That was me."  
  
That person crossed the room towards me and put his arm around my shoulder so that he could support my weight as well. I frowned as he kissed my neck affectionately and whispered a promise of forever in my ear. Didn't he understand I couldn't tolerate him? Didn't he understand that a person like that...was not someone a person like me should be around?  
  
"Do you hate me...?" he asked.  
  
"I'll...I...Nagi is dead. I killed him. The others are alive...you're lying! Just leave...leave before I kill you too..."  
  
I killed him...I killed him... I did it with my own hands.... I sat above him for those seven minutes until I was sure he could no longer breathe... My anger was strong all that time; I was closer to insanity... I don't want to kill anyone ever again...  
  
"That never happened, Omi...are you producing images of your life so you can feel free? I had you at one time... I will have you again. Such a bad assassin...sleeping with the enemy. If you thought you killed him, you would be free from your shame, wouldn't you? No one would know how horrible you really were..." he chuckled with his lips curving upwards before he continued, "and only I would know how pure you are. Weiss is gone, Omi, as is Schwarz... We can be together now, can't we? I can have you again, all to myself..."  
  
His eyes seemed so happy but not in a sane manner... They were relaxed, tranquil... I shivered and looked away from him, hoping he would just go away. Hate him...how I wished I could hate him. He was Nagi; he really was... How I wanted to kill him for it...! Hate...killing him...do I hate him?  
  
"Stop it! You're going to make me like you! Just go! Go before I kill you..."  
  
"You'll never be able to kill me. Look at this person you have become, hiding here, keeping your face from the world. I am the only one that truly exists in this place. Not even you reside here. You're no longer a full person, Omi, and never will be unless you can love me...or hate me."  
  
I...I don't know. I don't understand anything. I don't understand him... Nagi was dead, then this person was Nagi too. I lied to myself, or he's lying to me. I know he's Nagi, those eyes...that skin... But he isn't Nagi at all, that expression... Nagi was that body but Nagi isn't in that mind so he is no one.  
  
"I loved Nagi...but I know I hate you..."  
  
Notes: I think Omi's getting even weirder o.O;;; Not that he can compare to how weird Nagi is... Well, yeah...no plot, really, this is pretty sad ^^;; Oh well! I have to go write in Swan Lake for Fui X3 Two pages too o.O;;; ugh, driver's ed thing is soon . I don't want to drive with an instructor...what if they make me go on a freeway o.O;;; Icky, bad, must hide! But also must pass driver's ed -_-;;; Oh, the pain and some other stuff...  
  
Yuki: I thought it'd probably be about 3 or 4 years later so Nagi has plenty of time to completely lose it and Omi can be happily anti-social in his little hut...or whatever he lives it o.O;;; ((it's sad when I don't know -_-;;; )) You're not getting old, they are o.O; But yes...I've noticed that people that try to seclude themselves too much are highly emotional when they actually do socialize . That's just from my experience with people, though...  
  
Bombay-chan: I don't know how I'd describe it o.O;;; Only word I can think of is "special" ^^;; 


	7. NAAAAAAAAGI X3 he's not insane snuggles...

I had gained all I wanted when he spoke those words... Or at least the delusion seemed perfect. He was such a terrified little bird trying to free itself from the net... I chuckled and pulled Omi to my chest where he tried to resist me, tried to break free.  
  
"What's wrong with you?! What's happened to you? Can't you just let me be...?" he begged.  
  
I kissed him lightly and watched complete disgust appear on his face. He didn't hate me...he wanted to get away from me, to forget about me. That wasn't true hate. True hate was the obsession of seeing.... The obsession with destroying.  
  
"You don't hate me. Until you do I will never let you be," I murmured into his ear.  
  
He fell against my chest and broke down sobbing. I at least still had some power over him. How long had it been since we seduced each other...? I brushed the hair from his face and tilted his chin upwards as I smiled down at him. I didn't expect Omi to lift his face upwards and push his lips to mine. I hadn't expected him to push me against the wall as he continued to kiss me, and so I was too shocked to react.  
  
How long...? 4 years. It had been 4 years since he disappeared after Weiss had finished. I wonder if he knew how he had condemned them. I remember his final words to me inside the park... I was still a bit innocent then too. I could still smile at someone and look like I actually meant it and had hope for this sad world.  
  
"Why...? It's over now, isn't it?" I had asked with tears dripping from my face.  
  
I could cry too... It was one of those times in my life where things were so beautiful that I couldn't even appreciate it. I couldn't cry now... Not even when I killed Schuldig did I cry... I hate him. I hate them all.  
  
"I...I don't want to hurt you... I don't trust myself anymore... I love you Nagi. I'll always love you... We just shouldn't have ever been together...it's simply not right... My friends...they would never forgive me," he had murmured.  
  
I had watched him fold his arms over his chest and look up at me with depressed eyes. I had watched him walk up to me and brush the tears from my eyes with gentle kisses. However...I felt him stick the dart into my skin that knocked me out for a week. When I woke up I was in Schuldig's room and I knew then just how much Omi didn't love me at all.  
  
I had locked myself in my room for weeks thinking until I came to my conclusion. I understood then just how much love and hate were alike and how much Omi couldn't feel either. No innocent soul would understand...  
  
"I'm going to ruin your innocence, Omi," I chuckled out.  
  
"Is it because I've ruined yours...?" he asked softly.  
  
He brushed his hand down my neck, down my side, and around my waist until he reached my back. He looked up at me and smiled as he lifted his free hand to one of my wrists and held it up. He pressed his lips against mine roughly as he had yet to do before.  
  
"Explain to me how you think," he whispered softly with his lips brushing against mine as he spoke.  
  
"You don't care for life...? Locking yourself up like a fool, how could you? I care for life... I care for yours and mine. I'm obsessed with you. Obsession is the only true form of love and hate... It's the only way I can think of you and only you. If I thought of anyone else it would shame your perfection and your flaws... Do you not understand? You don't love me at all. You've lied to me for so long because of your cruel innocence. I hate you, Omi, because only I can love you..." I replied.  
  
"It's night."  
  
I looked at Omi and tilted my head slightly before I looked over at the window to see the moon in the sky. It's night.  
  
Omi's hand lifted my other wrist and pressed it against the wall. He pressed his lips against mine again with his eyes closed tightly. I stared at him in amazement as his hands tightened their grip on my wrists and tears dripped down his face.  
  
Omi...how I loved Omi. How I could only love to hate him so greatly...  
  
Notes: Well! I wrote half of that a long time ago ((well, not that long, it's been nine days since I updated last so like...4 days ago?)) Heh, heh ^^;;; Bombay-chan~ Should I email you when I update or no? Hmm...so many options ^^;;; I sure hope it's not too weird for you o.O;;; Sorry about my last email . I was all dead from finals ^^;;; On other notes! Right...other notes o.O;;; Gimme a minute to think about what those are... Oh right!  
  
Yuki Fuyumi: there will be little tid bits randomly ^^;;; Thanks for reminding me I should probably throw some of that in...heh heh ^^;; I don't really preplan anything I write... I just sit down and whatever comes out well...does ^^;; I don't read over what I write either because then I usually sorta just stare at it and wonder what the hell I was thinking ^^;;; So sorry for bad grammar! And wait...I have a plot o.O;;; Cool, I never knew XD  
  
Sammy-chan: rabu you too XD You're so nice to my ego X3 Though, I'm not a talented writer o.O;; I'm a very bad one, that you XD That's the only reason I'm not insane *nods* All talented writers are lunatics . Hey wait...something like this? What is like this oO;; it's just weird from what I remember of it XD And since I wrote more...REVIEW MORE SOON XD It makes my huge ego grow even more ^.- *runs away*  
  
Nekocin: aww, it's not a bad review, just not much I can ramble too XD Sok though~  
  
TBC...when I get free time again X3 *has lots of it, just spends it on other things...like Suikoden III *___* anyone wanna write a suikoden III boi rabu fic with Jacques in it for me? I'll love you forever XD  
  
Side notes: FINALS ARE OVER XD Whooooo~ 


	8. Omi again bleh, sorry

I was shaking...trembling... Could Nagi see it? Could he see how terrified I was of him? I was even having troubles breathing but that kiss... If I did not continue that kiss I was afraid that someone horrible would happen... I was afraid he would gain his senses and kill me out of what I had done to him.  
  
Nagi... Yes, this boy...man...he is Nagi. How can this truly be a man? Those muscles that lack definition, the small frame and slight build. He looked as though had another sun passed he would fade into the weakness of atrophy and never use his strength again. His face was still innocent in appearance when he looked at me with shock on his face... As long as it wasn't that obsessive stare that made me feel as though he longed to devour my entirety, he could remain childish.  
  
What have I done to you...? You used to come to me sobbing because you were afraid that one day those souls of the people you had killed would come after you. You told me they haunted your dreams and watched you as you slept... You told me that you hadn't slept for so long and when you did sleep it was very little because you were utterly terrified. You were so afraid that it made me want to hold you until time failed to pass.  
  
How much things have changed since then. I'm more afraid than you are now... Back then, I was scared too, but I didn't cry quite like you. I didn't curl into a submissive ball with tears streaking my cheeks as I shook in fear and cried out about the pain that possessed my spirit. But you did...and I loved you for it.  
  
I opened my eyes to look at you again with my vision still blurred from the tears. I love you, Nagi, I always will. Neither of us have sins that can be forgiven. You think that you're the one that killed them all? You think that you possess the power to take claim for those lives and where it lead them? It is not them that died; it is their lives' course that killed them. It is my life's course that will one day be the death of me.  
  
I can't help but wonder, beautiful Nagi, will you be the one to kill me? Would that make you happy now...? Death is the final form of closure, is it not, and you followed me all this way to receive that...  
  
"Was my leaving so suddenly not enough for you? Is it closure you desire?" I asked with my voice faltering and failing me.  
  
"Omi...how can you be so wrong so often...? You see, Omi, I love you. I want to keep you with me as long as possible... I couldn't care less about closure. It isn't something I need from you...all I need is you... I want to control you, Omi, all of you... I can have your body simply but until you love me too I will never have your thoughts..." Nagi murmured in reply after that shock look had faded as well as his innocence.  
  
"My thoughts...? But what of my heart? Can you care not for it as well?" I asked.  
  
Nagi chuckled quietly and placed his forehead against mine with his nose in collision with mine, and his lips barely inches away. I felt my body temperature rise in a nervous reaction as I turned away from him with his forehead against my cheek instead.  
  
"You're heart, my love, is merely for pushing blood throughout your body. It has no purpose when it comes to what I want... I can never have your thoughts...can I? It doesn't matter... I'll take them from you..."  
  
His hands pushed into my hair as he forced me to face him. His lips pressed against mine with his eyes tightly closed and his waist pressing up against mine in a cruelty that could only be understood by those that had lacked human contact for as long as I had. I bit my bottom lip until I felt the slight crimson droplets fall from the exposure and drip down my cheek. I felt a tongue lick it off of me and a soft chuckle tease my ears.  
  
"I loved you once, Nagi... I am sure I still do. I love you Nagi..."  
  
  
Notes: o.O;;; I'm really getting bored of this fic... Might have something to do with the fact I write it once a week ^^;;; I'm sorry Bombay-chan and To-chan, it might end a lot earlier than previously expected ^^;; Like...in the next two parts ^^;;;  
  
Yuki Fuyumi: and if that happens there will probably be a lot unexplained, heh heh ^^;;; I'm not much of the fan fic writing type. Actually, I'm not much of the writing type at all... I don't believe in preplanning X3 Well, except general plot, but all fanfics I write have no plot, so... o.O; Btw, are you on the Nagi ML? I swear your SN is familiar...  
  
ChouKourin: Sorry I'm so slow ^^;;; Lots of homework @.@ My classes are after my blood o.O;;;;; But yes, sorry again ^^;; And yes...Nagi is crazy o.O;;; Doesn't help with the music I listen to while writing this... ^^;;  
  
Bombay-chan and To-chan: ;_; I'm sorry, I'm just challenged in the fan fic area ;_; 


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